when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize