I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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