omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
