garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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