I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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