wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
operation have a gay friend backfired
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
