I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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