And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
