And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
