im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
