i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She announced her abortion via fbk
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
