You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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