My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
