lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
