My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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