oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
