I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
