You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
