is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
