Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We are two peas in an std pod
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
