yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
