But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
