Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
where am i from again
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize