I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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