got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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