No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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