Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
