You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
