If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
