Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
