dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
