Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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