why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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