those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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