Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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