since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
