Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
