Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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