His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
