He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
