apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm like, not good at living.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
