I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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