i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
