Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
