If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
