I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
is wine microwaveable?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
