Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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