i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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