I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize