Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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