Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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