Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am available for nakedness
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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