and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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