About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
