so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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