Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
