she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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