Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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